I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
