summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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