Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You left your phone here
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