i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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