eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
