dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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