My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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