I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
