This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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