Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
