I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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