Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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