is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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