I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
