Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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