I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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