she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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