You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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