Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
