i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
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