Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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