Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
