i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
