I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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