i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
