question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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