Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
In America we eat man semen.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
jump out the window naked night went bad
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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