Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
