I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
