I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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