i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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