we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
