I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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