tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
