Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
