omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
