Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
