I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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