my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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