What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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