my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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