just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
