I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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