If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just blew my weed a kiss
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
