I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
