so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
