I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
