can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
