i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
