You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
