I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
