Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
