YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This girl is more easily done than said...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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