i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
