Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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