You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
