If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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