He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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