Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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